Have you ever paused to consider what truly matters to you? Not what others expect of you or what society deems important, but what genuinely resonates with your heart and soul? These are your values, the guiding principles that shape your life, priorities, and decisions. For a long time, I didn't realise that I had lost sight of my own values. But once I rediscovered them, everything changed. Here's what I learned about values, why they matter, and how you can uncover yours.

What Are Values?

Values are the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide your behaviour and decisions. They represent what you stand for and what you find meaningful in life. Examples of values include honesty, family, creativity, growth, compassion, and freedom. Unlike goals, which are specific achievements, values are the ongoing compass that directs you in everyday life.

Why Are Values Important?

Knowing your values allows you to live a life aligned with what matters most to you. Research shows that living in accordance with your values increases life satisfaction and overall well-being. A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who actively align their actions with their values report higher levels of happiness and purpose.

Values also act as a decision-making tool. When faced with choices, having clarity on your values makes it easier to discern which options align with your authentic self. Without this clarity, it’s easy to fall into patterns of people-pleasing, overcommitment, or drifting through life on autopilot.

My Personal Journey

For years, I prioritised the needs and expectations of others. I was the ultimate people-pleaser, saying “yes” to everything and everyone, with no boundaries in sight. I thought I was being selfless, but in reality, I was neglecting myself. I didn’t take the time to ask, “What really matters to me?”

During a session with my therapist, she asked me about my values—and I couldn’t answer. She wasn’t surprised. As a people-pleaser, I was so used to putting others first that I had completely lost sight of what was important to me. At the same time, I was deeply unhappy at work, my marriage was struggling, and even the time I spent with my children felt heavy and disconnected. Everything felt off. Eventually, the pressure built up and I experienced a panic attack. It was my body’s way of shouting what my mind had been trying to ignore. That was the wake-up call I needed. Something had to change.

That moment marked the beginning of my journey to explore and understand my values. It also planted the seed that eventually led me to become a life and mindset coach. As I began to make changes and live more intentionally, I realised I wanted to help other women do the same - especially those who, like me, have lost themselves in the roles they play and the expectations they carry. I decided to dig deeper into understanding myself and what I truly value. Through ongoing journaling and research, I gradually uncovered the values that resonate most with me: family, adventure, community, and integrity.

Living by these values has transformed my life. I now make intentional decisions about where I focus my energy and say “no” when something doesn’t align with my values. This shift has improved my mental and physical well-being and has brought a sense of balance and peace that I didn’t know was possible.

How Knowing Your Values Helps You Live With Intention

When you know your values, you can:

Set Boundaries: It becomes easier to say no to things that don’t align with what’s important to you.
Make Intentional Decisions: Whether it’s a career choice, a relationship, or how you spend your weekend, values provide a framework for intentionality.
Reduce Stress and Overwhelm: You’re less likely to overcommit when you’re clear about your priorities.
Find Greater Fulfillment: Aligning your actions with your values leads to a deeper sense of purpose and satisfaction.

How to Discover Your Values

Uncovering your values takes reflection and honesty. Here are a few steps to help you get started:

Reflect on Your Best Moments: Think about times when you felt truly happy or proud. What values were being honored in those moments?
Consider What Makes You Frustrated: Discomfort often arises when your values are being challenged or ignored. Identifying these moments can reveal what matters to you.
Use Journaling as a Tool: Dedicate time to journaling about what brings you joy, what drains your energy, and what you’d like to prioritise in your life. Prompts like “What do I want to be remembered for?” can be especially illuminating.
Seek Out Resources: Books, podcasts, and value assessment tools can provide additional insights. For example, Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead includes a helpful exercise for identifying values.
Start Small: Pick one or two values that resonate most strongly with you and begin integrating them into your daily decisions.

Final Thoughts

Rediscovering my values has been one of the most empowering steps in my journey toward intentional living. By understanding what truly matters to me, I’ve been able to reclaim my time, energy, and sense of self. If you’ve ever felt lost or overwhelmed, taking the time to uncover your values could be the key to living a more fulfilling and balanced life.

So, what are your values? Take a moment to reflect, journal, and explore. You might just find the clarity and direction you’ve been searching for.

If you’re ready to take the next step in discovering your values and aligning your life with them, my coaching services can help. Together, we’ll explore what matters most to you, develop strategies to integrate your values into daily life, and create an intentional path forward. Let’s work together to build a life that feels authentic, balanced, and fulfilling.

Discovering Your Values: A Path to Intentional Living